I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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