Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
