I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize