It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My ass is underappreciated
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
