You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
