Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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