Dignity is for republicans.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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