I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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