Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize