You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
