I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
