Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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