I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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