your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
