God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
