at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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