He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
