im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
