so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
