I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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