I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
