All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
