Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
