I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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