did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
