it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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