I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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