I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
