his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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