Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize