I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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