I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
