Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize