Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
