i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize