yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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