I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
