I wish I only lived at night.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
