So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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