Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
