Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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