why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
COCAINE IS GR8
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