Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
