just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
