we're blogging at a bar
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
