i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
