he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
