His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
