when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
