My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
