she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize