were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
