Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
