After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
