I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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