I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
