how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
