Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My boob is missing a layer of skin
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
