fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Porn is love you can see.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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