I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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