Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
